And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
