I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
