she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You made out with two different species that night
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
