Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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