That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
