normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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