What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
