so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
