This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
