I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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