Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
