Kiss
Puke
I'm going to jail i love you
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
