you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
