girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
