Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
