if only i could text you this smell
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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