me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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