she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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