He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
