I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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