Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just cropdusted the office
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
