dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
