I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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