I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
