he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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