I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize