Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
