i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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