Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
