Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
