You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
