so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
