hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
