Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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