It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
