Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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