oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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