just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
