Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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