There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
