he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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