No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
