white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
