maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
