So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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