1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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