Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
