We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
