I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize