I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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