Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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