Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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