we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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