i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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