glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
