I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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