Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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