i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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