I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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