Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
