I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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